Self-help implies that there is an incomplete self, that needs to be developed by doing certain activities.
If you seek to live a great life, and be at your best, it cannot be done by trying to improve yourself, the way it is traditionally done.
Reading books, going to motivational seminars, or using any other highly hyped tools that promise a world of self-improvement, is nothing but a bunch of lie.
When you seek to improve yourself, you are usually focusing on factors like:
- How to be more confident
- How to get someone to fall in love with you
- How to be your best self
- How to be more intelligent
- How to be more peaceful and loving
And the list goes on.
All of this stems from a belief, that you are not whole by birth, and that there are things you need to “do” to become whole.
While the intention with all of this is good, the direction is wrong.
Simply because, just by stuffing your intellect with a recipe of a good person, doesn’t make you one.
All it does is gives you a false impression of your niceness. Which often falls flat in face of a calamity.
Any time your good image is challenged, you feel threatened.
Each time someone sees you in an unpleasing manner, you begin to shake, you react, in stead of reflect.
True goodness cannot be shaken.
True love is unconditional.
True peace is eternal.
But none of this can be in your possession, if you live through mental images about your goodness.
You have been given to believe, that if you can think confident thoughts, you will become confident.
That if you can think loving thoughts, you will become loving.
As such the whole idea of self-help, comes from the premise, that you need to make an effort towards your self, in order to get things from this world. In other words, you need to create a false image that conforms to the demands of society, of being a nice person, of being loving, caring etc. While having no idea how to be these things.
When a child is born, he is as original, as original can be. He exists happily, without any personality whatsoever.
Then the world comes along, and starts imposing ideas of a self, a separate identity, that you need to develop to thrive in this world.
The child who is pure consciousness, and whose mind is like a sponge, absorbs this misinformation, and often ends up with a messed up personality.
As he grows up, he finds out certain things about himself based on comparison from others, and misunderstands himself further, by seeing that he lacks certain qualities that others seem to have.
Whether it is more confidence, intelligence, kindness, or the ability to love.
Or even his external appearance, that he judges, based on what he has learned from society.
Racism, casteism, gender disharmony, all stems from a huge misunderstanding about one’s self.
When it comes to education, all we have is how to study enough to be able to make a living.
Beyond this, no one is interested in helping you discover yourself, so you know where to draw the line between survival and greed.
As such the whole focus of society, is to create a product that suits its script.
If it’s a man, he better grow up to be an employee or employer. Get married, and have kids, and let the cycle continue.
If it’s a woman, she better grow up to support the man, get married, have children, and support the script.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with these things, but these are not the only things life is all about.
When you get busy making a living, and have no time to actually live, that’s a waste of life.
The script causes people to seek self-improvement, in terms of how they can be better equipped to get things from this world, so they can have a better life experience.
As such man is deluded into thinking, that this world can offer him something valuable, which he has to strive for. The dream shown to him is, money, love, pleasure, and recognition.
Any effort to develop the self, is the very thing that takes you further away from it.
The idea that the self is something to develop is false. You don’t need to develop yourself, but you only need to become conscious of yourself.
You need self knowledge, not development.
The moment you know thyself, you know all that is worth knowing.
The qualities of love, joy, and completeness that you seek in the world outside, are already a part of your true nature.
God doesn’t manufacture defective products.
When he sent you down here, it was a package deal, and he gave you all you need to live a wonderful life.
You did not come here to become a better person. God’s work is perfect, and you cannot improve perfection.
But you don’t know this, because you were mislead.
The whole society at large is a huge map of false directions.
If you want the right direction, stop looking at that map, and turn inward.
When you landed here, you came with a personal life navigator.
But in stead of looking at it, you’ve been taking directions from the outside, no wonder you find that you are lost in life.
But it’s never too late. If you want to improve your life, and take it in the direction God intended it to be taken, start right away with self-discovery.
Which means, you will have to set aside all identities that you have taken from this world. Everything that you think you know about you, is false! Everything!
Let the first revelation be this: You have absolutely no idea who you are! And that is why you suffer.
If you want to know yourself, here’s where you can begin:
1. Learn Meditation: Meditation is not just a practice to calm you down, or to have a sharper intellect, or to feel more happy. Meditation is a self-revelation tool. If you use it correctly, it will help you drop all false identifications, so you can for the first time, see for yourself, that who you think you’ve been has been a complete lie. The first step to self-knowledge, is to become aware of that which is untrue.
I recommend doing Isha Kriya, to begin with. For it’s a fantastic tool for even novice meditators to get started. If you’d like to learn more about it, I’ve documented my experience here.
2. Know that You are already Complete: Yes, you have come here in this world. You exist in a body, which has certain needs, but beyond this, you are totally the absence of any need whatsoever. You don’t need other people to love you, to approve of you, and to admire you. You need none of this. You need nothing. You don’t need happiness too! You are the total absence of need. But you cannot know this just by reading it. You can only know this when you know yourself.
You did not come in this world, to get things from others, or to build a huge empire. There is no reason for your life, life is the reason for your existence. Joy is your very core. Whatever you do in this world, you do for the joy of it. Not because you need things. Only when you don’t need anything from this world, can you truly enjoy it and are you truly capable of loving, and giving. Right now, all you know is trading, not loving. See this truth about the false condition you call love, so you can finally experience true love.
3. Don’t try to be a Hero, be a Zero: Everyone is a hero in their mind, but look at the world heroes have created. There’s no virtue in being a hero, it is far more valuable to be a zero. Being zero means, you are at peace with yourself and the world around you. You don’t feel the need to impose your ideas on others, and you have no belief system. You simply exist as a mirror. Being a zero is pure receptivity, and only when you are a zero, does true wisdom flow.
There are no wise human beings, not a single one. But there is wisdom, that flows through those, who never make a claim at having any knowledge of their own.
This is why, anything you do, to acquire a better self, is actually taking you further away from who you truly are.
For your true self is already complete, and in desire of nothing.
Only those who desire nothing from this world can enjoy it, everyone else only suffers.
Resources: